Shit I Dig
Boy, been over a week since my last update! I bet ya’lls missed me!
OR not. Whichever, I come bearing links and shit. See, not too long ago, I had a love for writing reviews for things I’d just seen or played, which I’d upload to various parts of the internet. I don’t as much–lost my zeal and my means for getting the newest, best products in time for a particularly impactful review. But, I still like reviewing things, so if this list turns into a mini-review of each item, I apologize in advance.
NOT.
Being the weary, disillusioned sort, I can quite suddenly and for long bouts of time grow completely and utterly disinterested in television. Not just the current crop of programs, either. I mean television as a medium. I can’t stand it. I turn it on for noise and distraction and when I can think of nothing else to do. I love watching movies, but even nowadays I only do that when I’m around my friends. So, instead of television, I have been steadily feeding my consumerist appetite for bite-sized chunks of flashy entertainment on the sweet, succulent treats rolled out on a buffet line I like to call www.thatguywiththeglasses.com .
Thank CHRIST for this website. It has spared me so much boredom and reckless periods of morbid and miserable introspection. Run, mainly, by a gentleman called Doug Walker, who is most well known on the Internet for his programs like the Nostalgia Critic and Bum Reviews (which isn’t as dirty as it sounds). Nostalgia Critic is a blisteringly funny (and occasionally controversial) break down/dissection of shit we liked when we were kids. And by “we” and I mean “my generation”.
MOM. /:<
Bum Reviews are of a different sort of humor, but no less entertaining. They’re cutting and incisive movie reviews (of whatever the most recent film is) done from the perspective of a homeless man named Chester A. Bum, who loves EVERY movie he sees because he’s just grateful to be in a warm building. He reviews each movie by spastically reenacting almost every major scene in the movie, kind of like a kid on a huge sugar rush, except…as a bum. It’s very funny, though SPOILER ALERT. He can and will spoil MAJOR plot points in his reviews, so be WARNED. They are funny and sarcastic enough that you don’t lose ALL the spoiler impact, and he does choose to keep some mysteries secret, if they are pivotal to the plot.
Both are very funny, and they are just the tip of the proverbial Internet Entertainment that is available from that website. With dozens of hours of sketches, Q&A’s, reviews and cross-over specials, Walker himself is the primary draw to the website, but his rag-tag team of associates (hosts or major players on their own internet variety shows) can be just as entertaining.
There are a metric shit-ton of other videos and videomakers on Walker’s site. Many are hit-and-miss, some are solidly funny, and quite a few appeal to rather narrow audiences (the Frenchman Benzaie being a good example, and not everyone might dig the nerdy approach that Linkara‘s comic book reviews take) but all are worthy at least of previewing. I, a growing conneseur of indie Internet entertainment (stuff like the Angry Videogame Nerd or, perhaps more famously, Yahtzee Croshaw’s Zero Punctuation being prime examples), have found this site a WEALTH of new options for what you do on the internet at night. Because, face it, porn can get old after awhile.
A few special mentions to particularly favorite videos and performers:
The Spoony One, AKA Noah Antwiler, is a very entertaining amateur film maker who props up a camera in his cramped bedroom and films himself playing with toys. He is hostes on TGWTG but has his own, more personal and slightly more cluttered site here
REALLY, it is better than it sounds. He’s infectiously passionate about all kinds of pop culture, delving deep into the depths in terms of video game, movie, television and even internet pop culture, to find humor in even the most poorly made products. Part reviewer, part one-man show, all entertainment, a special nod should be given to at least his whole-hearted ATTEMPTS to try and fit decent editing and special effects into his productions. Most of it is very low-budget, but he has on occassion pulled off an effect or two that actually suceeds in, if not dazzling, certainly surprising the viewer in a pleasent way. Plus, he’s an Arizona native, so we’re practically neighbors. Holla!
I found Paw more recently. He’s on the site, but has less top billing and less videos than some of the founding members. Nevertheless, he may very well have the best product on the site. He hosts a few different shows–a Let’s Play that is entertaining, but only if you like Let’s Plays, and a weird section where he reads off music lyrics to songs in a slightly creepy voice (I am the Walrus becomes a tad bit darker when HE reads it). However, his main series and draw is a mini-series entitled Full Circle.
Full Circle is unique as it isn’t designed to provide the VIEWER as much. While the other critics and reviewers try and bring the audience to a conclusion through funny jokes and reviews, Paw actually spends every episode talking about…himself. Trust me when I say, it’s more interesting than it sounds. Basically, he recounts his entire childhood by comparing and (gently) criticizing all of the music and albums and songs he listened to in the various stages of his life and development. It quickly transcends regular music blogs, and with snappy editing, subtle but genuinely witty dialogue, and a careful mix of nerd lore, poet sense, and natural charisma, the man manages to fully engage you in his story, for seven episodes and an epilogue, and in the process you may become aware of a number of bands you’d have never heard about, which is always ideal for any music blog. Plus, his collection of the Top Nine Video Game soundtrack songs from oldschool (late 80′s-early 90′s) retro days is VERY well made, and an intelligent list to boot.
Better known as the Nostalgia Chick, Lindsay Ellis manages to be both a handy side-kick to the Nostalgia Critic while holding her own amongst the other bigger names on the site with ease and charm. Being a knock-out who seems to mold herself to EVERY nerd girl fantasy sure helps, but she’s incredibly funny, creative, has skilled edits and effects, and has coined as many catch phrases as a lot of the other guys. I know it’s unfortunate that I have so little to say about her, but she IS the second funniest entertainer on the site, and with as much talent as there is, that’s saying something pretty damn good.
There are so many others on the site, but I’ll let you explore for yourself. Not all of it is as great as the ones I listed above, but most is at least watchable, which is better than what I could say for most of the drivel I find on cable.
Miss Mayes earns her own unique spot on this list for being her own unique sort of person. She’s a game reviewer…of a sort, who has just one gimmick. She reviews a game in song. And not just ANY song–well produced, high quality, FOLK songs. Like, really really good. She has an airy voice that is utterly angelic, she has simple, wonderfully catchy and surprisingly heartfelt beats and melodies, and her lyrics are a mixture of funny, wistful, sad and thoughtful. She doesn’t really REVIEW the games she sings about, but she does sum them up in either a thought, a feeling, or even just an image. She has her own podcast, and she’s now featured on The Escapist , which is another fantastic way to waste your time on the internet.
Need a great way to waste time? TV Tropes. Whether you need to pass twenty minutes or a quiet evening, there is something here that you will be interested in. A wiki site (which, for the unwebly, is a website that is almost entirely user run and depends on the average internet surfer for its content. Wikipedia is the biggest example, but any website that is populated by articles from average, often anonymous joes, qualifies as a wiki), this site’s topic and theme is Tropes.
What is a Trope? A trope is kind of like a plot device–in fact, most plot devices are tropes, but not all tropes are plot devices. It can be some kind of facet of a character, a setting, a plot line, even a story archetype that is not only clearly identifiable, but classifiable too. Some tropes includes things like Catchphrases which are very general, and others more specific, like One Liners. Every example has dozens of examples of each trope, including subversions, lampshades, and aversions as well. With each article having two or three links on average, you’ll soon find your internet tab bar chock full of tabs, for the dozens of different articles you’ll want to browse at any given moment. Sit down for a minute, find you haven’t moved in hours. See this xkcd comic strip for a funnier description.
Now, moving away from the online, a brief look into MOVAYS.
4. Shottas
Fuck Cool Runnings, man, John Candy and his friends LIED to us. Remember when we could all just think about Jamaica as this happy-go lucky place that loves its weed? Well this movie takes your Cool Runnings Jamaica and shoves it right up your ass, then it carves out your insides and uses you as a fucking bobsled.
This is the Scarface of my generation. A small-budget, beautifully shot indie gangster film, it focuses on the life and crimes of an up and coming crime lord, a young Jamaican-American named Biggs. With him and his best friend Wayne, the pair set out to conquer Jamaica, then later on, America, through the slums and drug pens of Miami. The movie is OUTSTANDING. The action sequences are thrilling, stellar, and deeply cinematic without being over the top, and the depiction of the gangster lifestyle pulls no punches, but also doesn’t jerk for tears. Yeah, it shows the ups and downs of being a no good criminal, but it also shows all the rewards too–the stuff that matters in today’s world, money and bitches and bling. With a Shakespearian plot that is full of interesting characters, alarming plot twists, and deep emotional impact, you’ll be drawn in to this mesmirizing film from the first frame.
The movie’s kind of a foreign film, since almost every major character speaks in a thick Jamaican dialect, to the point where the movie is actually subtitled for easier understanding. Half the fun is trying to piece together what the main characters are saying, since there’s a hefty use of English in the lingo. So, if you can’t STAND foreign films–or you just really hate subtitles–I’d still say the movie is worth watching, but you probably won’t enjoy it as much. Of course, this IS a movie about Jamaica. If the thought crosses your mind to make appropriate party preperations, consider it a good thought, and an encouraged one.
That’s about all I have to say for this update. I also saw Bruno recently–which was quite stellar and funny, but it IS identical to Borat in most every way, outside of specific jokes. Enjoy the links, you can expect another excerpt from the Graveyard Quarter in this next week. If I have something to share, I’ll be sure to do so.
Peace, ya’lls. Respect.
